maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
