Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
