i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize