Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
