how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize