i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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