i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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