come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
