Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
