So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
