That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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