I CAN MOONWALK!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
