Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize