I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
