u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can I color on your dick again?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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