i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
