Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
