the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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