i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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