I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
