Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
