question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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