why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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