I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
