After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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