remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
