dude i'm inner monologue high
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
