I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
