Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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