do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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