no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
