You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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