Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
