Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Alive.
So much puke
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
