WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize