i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
