Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
