im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
