I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize