I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you win again, gameday.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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