Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
