At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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