yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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