i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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