Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize