dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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