I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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