I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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