Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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