I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
