this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
