OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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