Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
