maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My cat gives me a boner
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
