so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think your dad took our porno
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
