You're so nebulous sometimes
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
