you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
