let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize