I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
