Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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