I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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