In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
