I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
