His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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