im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
and you fell through a lawn chair
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