Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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