is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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