dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
