hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
farters have to be the big spoon...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
