sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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