And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
