those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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