Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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