I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
