if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
