some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
