the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
