I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
