I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
